What is one fun fact about you that might surprise most people? 

My family and I moved to Charleston in the fall of 2020.  We made the decision to make the move from our hometown of Connecticut when we were all quarantined together in April of that year- and even though I had never been to South Carolina, I was sold. September will mark four years since we moved, and it is still one of the best decisions we have ever made as a family. We love Charleston and feel so blessed to call it home.

What’s in your purse ?

My agenda that I’ve had since college- I have never, and will never enter the digital age when it comes to scheduling. I have to write everything down and cross it all off when complete.

Pens from my favorite local restaurants.

Giggles (organic skittles) for Lila, although I regularly steal them. 

AirPods.

4 pairs of Amazon sunglasses- I destroy them all.

Super goop sunscreens and a portable charger. 

A copy of MSLL, in case I encounter someone that could use it.

Favorite Charleston Spots?

There are so many! But right now Post House, Vern’s, Sorelle, Marbled and Fin and Home Team are in heavy rotation. 

Who is your hero? 

I have a few heroes in the mix, and they’re all women that inspire me every day. I’m in awe of all the female business owners in this community that juggle motherhood and entrepreneurship beautifully, and support each other constantly.

The other autism moms that I have been fortunate enough to connect with here in Charleston and on social media, many of whom have paved the way and showed me that it’s going to be “OK.” 

My sisters who have always supported me, but have really rallied around our family post-diagnosis and have taken the time to learn about autism and support our girl, and drop everything to help when we need it. 

My 85 year old grandmother, who moved across the country just last year to be closer to her great grandchildren. 

It’s not lost on me how fortunate I am to have such an amazing community around us and to help us navigate this journey. It truly takes a village.

What are your favorite things about your daughters and their personalities?

I love how Lila is so unapologetically herself. I believe it’s a part of her autism that is a true gift- the ability to just exist without caring about what anyone else thinks. It’s something I need a little more of. 

As for Maddie, I’ve never seen such empathy and kindness in a human being. It pours out of her. She is the consummate champion of the underdog and she is always rooting for her sister and everyone in the autism community. It comes so naturally to her, and she teaches us all every day. 

What advice would you give to someone that thinks they may have a child on the spectrum? What first steps would you recommend, is there anything you wish you would have done sooner/differently? Insurance help ? 

I would say to trust your gut and keep pushing for answers. Our intuition is our greatest gift and should never be ignored. Practically speaking, I would connect with an advocate, like Charleston Educational Services, or find a community workshop- we are currently planning some locally through Her Voice CHS. Family Connections was also incredibly helpful with respect to navigating some of the insurance application hurdles.

What tips do you have for families struggling with receiving an ASD diagnosis? Is there an impactful story or message you received that reframed your perspective? 

When I was really struggling in the early stages of our diagnosis, my dear friend sent me the poem Welcome to Holland by Emily Kingsley. The poem beautifully explains a mother’s perspective on parenting a child with a disability- that as a parent of a child with special needs, we didn’t expect this to be our journey. She likens it to a traveler that has planned for their entire life to go on a trip to Italy, only to land in Holland. And while Holland will never be Italy, it is so beautiful and wonderful in its own way. She describes the tulips and Rembrandts and windmills you will see, which is why I now have a windmill on my arm for our girl. That poem completely changed my outlook on being an autism mom and I recommend it to everyone.

What impactful moment of being Lila Lee’s mother, has taught you about yourself?

I am so grateful to be mom to both my girls for so many reasons. And while being an autism mom can be incredibly challenging, in many ways it has also been an amazing gift, as it has forced me to regain a confidence I had lost, and has taught me to be the strongest, best version of myself. It has reminded me of the power of our intuition, and that it should never be ignored, and has encouraged me to be a voice for not only my own daughter, but so many others through advocacy and spreading awareness.